It’s embarrassing. I just realized that the last time I posted on this blog was two whole months ago! Sigh. I’ve missed blogging. The truth is, I didn’t know what to write recently because I needed time to process and grow through the challenges that I found myself in the midst of these last couple months. Praise the King that He is patient and faithful to walk us through uncertainty with gentle love! Without Jesus as my anchor I would have surely been swept under life’s wild waves, breathless.
The purpose of this blog post today is not to complain, but rather to show how God has been stretching and teaching me to trust Him-trust who He is, what He does, when He takes action, and how He chooses to do so. I wish I could say I have totally and completely trusted God through the challenges of the last two months, but that wouldn’t be truthful. I have had doubts. I have been frustrated. I have cried. I have pounded pillows with my fists and shouted out, “Why?!” And the whole time, God has lovingly held my tear-stained face in his gentle hands and soothed me just by listening. I would often ask Him to speak to me and tell me what to do next, but He chose to just listen and hold me. I now know that this was best for me. I needed to be still and to stop striving to make the circumstances change.
In the last sixty days our family has changed churches, houses, job descriptions. We have remained in the same town, but most everything else has changed. God asked us to obey Him even when it didn’t always make sense to start attending a church in Portland and to resign from my children’s ministry director and secretary positions here to be home with our one-year-old son. Just a few week’s after giving my notice at church, our landlords asked us to find another rental as soon as possible so their relative could move into the house we were renting. We were shocked. We loved where we lived and thought we would be there many more years. We found another rental on the other side of town that was not nearly as nice for a lot more money a month-money we did not have since I had just resigned from my job. We proceeded to clean, pack, and move the next couple weeks. Then the three of us became quite ill. We are now just finally feeling better.
The world is not just, but God is. The world is not forgiving, but God is. The world is not kind, but God is. Corrie ten Boom once said, “The devil is strong, but his power is limited; Jesus’ power is unlimited.” This has been a great comfort to me. In May 2000, Pastor James Montgomery Boice addressed his congregation in Philadelphia and boldly stated, “God is in charge. When tough things come into our lives, they are not accidental. It’s not as if God somehow forgot what was going on, and something bad slipped by…. God is not only the one who is in charge; God is also good. Everything He does is good…. If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you’d change it, you’d make it worse. It wouldn’t be as good.”
Do I understand why God allowed the last two months to be filled with crazy hard challenges? No. He may grant me the privilege of understanding this summer in the future, or He may not. I need to be ok with not understanding His ways. I need to trust the King of Kings anyway. I need to forgive those who have been unfair to our family. I need to love them too. I need to wake up each morning and ask God, “What do you want me to do today with the time you have so graciously given me?” I need to realize there are so many other people in the world that are suffering so much more than us. I need to pray that they find comfort in Christ’s love. I need to focus on the things God has given us, not the things He has taken away. I need to live each day looking for the best-in others and in circumstances.
To end this post, I wanted to share with you just a few of the many blessings God sent our way in the midst of these last two crazy months. Praise Him!
~My parents flew here at the perfect time to help us clean the rental we were moving into, aid us in packing, and even generously purchase household items to help get us started!
~My husband’s parents watched our son while we were moving, hemmed curtains, gave us a window air conditioner, and helped hook up some of our appliances.
~Several friends helped us move on one of the hottest days of the year, made us supper, gave us another air conditioner for our son’s room, and helped watch our boy when we were too sick to take care of him!
~Staying home the last month for the first time as a parent has been so encouraging and refreshing. It’s such a joy to be there for our son!
~Living closer to town has been nice. It’s been fun walking to stores and we have been saving gas money too!
~My husband and I have grown closer through these challenges and our faith is stronger!
~Our family is learning to appreciate the little things more and to not hold onto material items!
~God has been faithful!
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)